Dear All,

This is Phillipa of Phillipa Fashionista, and you need to knock the eff off all of your dowdy, humorless, god-awful, cheap, ridiculous clothing, and get back to what you’re supposed to be about: manufactured, forgettable music.

That said, I have some high and low-point notes becausethis bitch gives praise and haze where it’s due:

• Madonna, no.
• Kanye, wear a sock. In your mouth.
• Beck, your Scientology is showing.
• Ryan Seacrest, Nicole Kidman’s stoney face was right to snub you.
• Katy Perry. That voice. That dress. That hair. Yes.
• Sia. I want that wig. Plus, you’re doing it right. Everything.
• Sam Smith. You did good, bae.
• Iggy Azelea, it’s nice your hair is ready for Easter.
• Rihanna, the seven year-old you mugged would like her Halloween costume back.
• Lady Gaga, you did well. And Tony Bennett is still alive. A successful evening all round.

Yours Sincerely,

Phillipa.

Toodles. x/x/x

 

PS: Madonna, again, no. (Though slightly jealous of that hat.)
Source: GROOP!Place Blogs